Bringing about change in our lives can be a daunting task. Often change can be catastrophic. For instance, the aftermath of an accident or a natural disaster can force change upon us. Other times, change may come about more subtly. For instance, we begin to mention or complain about a situation in our lives. Or someone with a different viewpoint enters our life and we can see alternative ways to think about or handle a situation. However, we often resist making a change and we might even feel a bit angry about having to change some aspect of ourselves or our view of the world. But change begins the moment we start to think about making a change. Our life lessons are wrapped up in the things we find so difficult to do and change offers us an opportunity to develop a new perspective and way of relating to the world. To bring about change, it is believed that you must become aware of your resistance to change, then move forward by working through the resistance.
Resistance can be expressed in our behavior. For instance, changing the subject, refusing to pay attention, or leaving the room during a discussion can be an indication of resistance. Being late for an appointment or getting sick and missing it altogether are other indications of resistance. Wasting time and doing busy work, or anything other than the one thing we should do resists the change process. For instance, if your job requires making calls to customers and prospects, a resistance behavior would be clearing out your desk and shuffling papers as an excuse for not making the calls. Eating, drinking or smoking can also be signs of resistance. For instance, if you feel vulnerable in relationships, you may put on extra weight to insulate yourself from feeling attractive. Resistance can also be demonstrated in some of the assumptions you make. Saying it wouldn’t do any good to change, or others won’t understand can be signs of resistance; as can assuming the issue will work itself out.
Beliefs can also give rise to resistance to change. For instance, thinking it’s not right for you to do the different behavior, or it’s just too much work, expensive, or will take too long to accomplish can be indications of resistance. You can use excuses as resistance to change by giving your power to others. Examples include God would not approve, they won’t let me change, I don’t have the right environment or things needed to bring about change. It’s the fault of someone else, or as soon as I get ……(some condition)……then I will change. Your ideas about yourself can also create resistance to change. You may think you’re too old, too fat, too lazy, too dumb, too worthless, too stuck to change. You might also use delaying tactics as a form of resistance to change. Examples include saying you will do it later, you don’t have the time right now, you have too many other things to do, or it’s too late or too soon to make a change.
Denial can also have a part in your resistance to change. Examples of denial include thinking nothing can be done about the issue, there will be no good result from changing, or if the issue is ignored, perhaps it will go away. Fear can also play a role in resistance to change. Fear can be expressed by thinking you might be rejected, you are not yet ready to make any changes, it might cost money to make a change, you are afraid to express your feelings, it’s too hard to do, it won’t be perfect, or you are not good enough for the desired change.
Source: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay